It has been awhile for me to felt the pain in my heart after the death of my late mother. I thought I should be able to handle this as I have been prepared. Apparently, it is more than what I able to handle and bigger than what I have expected. This is the self made trouble. I hate myself, deeply.
Do you know it is very hard for me to pretend I am still very strong and fine? I should be nominated as the best actor in upcoming Oscar. Each time, it is like a knife is cutting through my heart. Bleeding...
A small break really made it harder.. the free time gave me more rooms to think. .. I should spend more time in office and others which can occupy my brain. Maybe I should isolate myself from everything until I get to clear the poison out of my system.
I know! I know! You guys and girls are very supportive. However, I think I have to walk this journey by myself. Only myself can resolve this.. Very sad huh? I sound so hopeless.
I am sorry, I have disappointed some of you but this is how I felt at the moment.
