I have the mixed feeling on the current situation. It getting worst and worst.. I am not sure anyone around has figure that out. I try to slow it down by keeping myself busy from work but I still sinking. I will leave town tomorrow. This may give me some fresh air to clear my mind and hopefully I will get an answer by then. Wish me luck.
No one will understand how suffer I am now. By getting feeling with him, I have broken my own principle. I never like to be a third party; I do understand the bad thing as a third party. My family has broken into pieces when a involvement from third party. Over years, we have been suffer from it, and it is possible the cause of my mom's cancer due to her long sorrow and work hard to keep the family running without my father, she did tried get the family back together and she failed. It is a long story and I will not get into details.
Maybe is about time for me to turn back and walk toward the light; and keep this as a good memory.
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